Last time I spoke about being heard and identifying choices.
This week it seems reasonable to start to explore what forces our hand, what motivates us and what guides us to putting decisions into action.
- How many times have you sat on the fence about taking a new direction?
- Decided not to speak out even though you knew the answer?
- Decided to keep quiet, for a quiet life, but still felt unhappy anyway?
- Stayed put for someone else when your heart was elsewhere or they didn’t make the changes they promised to?
- Changed nothing, but expected things to change themselves?
- Given control to someone else and been surprised that they haven’t made you a priority?
If some or all of these things are ringing true then it might be that you haven’t yet taken responsibility. That sounds harsh right? ‘How can all these things that are happening for me all be my fault?’
Let me explain:
- If you don’t like a decision but fail to voice your opinion on it then you have let someone else take control;
- If you held the answer inside and didn’t let people know your skills, capacity and intelligence then you let people continue to think about you in a certain way;
- Staying quiet means things don’t change; is it an easy life if what continues still makes you feel sad/trapped/unhappy?
- Remaining in a relationship with someone who is all talk and no action (including professional relationships) doesn’t put you in the driving seat, it places them above you, it diminishes your self-worth;
- Your output is a great as your input- change nothing then nothing changes, change something and something changes;
- Allowing someone else to have control over your life means You are not in control of your own life; it can be easier to hold others responsible for failings if you haven’t made those changes, but ultimately you are responsible for your life. If you don’t make yourself a priority then chances are nobody else will either.
This blog isn’t about blame, it is about empowering yourself to make your own choices. It can be hard to make decisions if you are not used to doing so, but with practice you will be surprised at how much you can start to achieve. I talk a lot about trial and error and that is because it is one of the best ways to test out your comfort zone and find a direction that suits you, one step at a time.
Situations that force our hand are linked to other people making decisions about us that we have had no involvement in.
Situations that motivate us are linked to positive decision-making. If we are involved in our decisions then we are more likely to feel the benefit from that action and we feel we have some control over the outcome.
If the decision is linked to meeting our own needs or important needs then this also serves as a motivating factor.
Hopefully you can now begin to see that you need to be central to your own decision making in order for it to be about you. Without this involvement then it can start to feel like things just happen to us, we are affected by the world and not vice versa.
So what next?
Reconnect with your basic day to day needs:
- What’s the bare minimum you need to function and survive?
- Does your daily routine tick off enough of your basic needs?
- If your basic needs are met, what do you now want to add to this list so that it matches your core beliefs, your ambitions and your future hopes/ dreams?
- If your basic needs are not being met- what has to change so that they are met?
Answering these questions will help you begin to create a road map to help you decide on your next direction.
If you find you are way off your ideal track, then click contact and arrange a free consultation today. Don’t delay starting a better present and future a moment longer.