Last week we looked at reflections as opposed to resolutions. This week I want to outline why therapy can be so insightful for those struggling with feelings of low self-esteem and feeling lost or adrift.
This quote really captures the essence of a sense of self:
I’ve included this quote to highlight how layered a sense of self can be. It’s SO many aspects that we generally might not consider on a day-to-day basis. If you come to therapy to explore why you feel lost, as many clients do, they can be frustrated at exploring elements that might not feel relevant. For example, you may come to a session wanting to work on your identity but be puzzled why your counsellor is asking you to think about school, childhood or your relationship with your family unit. At first it can feel very much like the problems or issues are inherent and internal and very much about you as a person, so why would these other things be important to explore?
Firstly, whoever raised you is partly responsible for how you are today, your relationship with this person/ those people and how it’s changed over time can have a huge impact your thoughts, feelings, emotions and behaviours- in fact, in everything that you do. Those formative years taught you a lot, yet over time you can believe these things are yours and you’ve come to these conclusions by yourself. Problems can arise when what you think and believe don’t fit with your experience of the world, giving rise to frustration, confusion and that lost feeling.
Therapy can help you begin to challenge long held assumptions about yourself and the world and help you understand if what you know is actually what you believe or if these views belong to someone else. Is your inner critic, (that negative voice in your head directing you) actually your voice or your Mum’s/ Father’s/ Grandparent or someone else? In understanding where these thoughts and opinions have come from you can begin to understand yourself better and increase your self-awareness. It will be the first step in rediscovering who you actually are rather than perhaps who you think you ought to be or who others think you should be. You’ll learn autonomy and become responsible for yourself, as opposed to changing yourself for other people.
If you feel lost and want to regain some control then click Contact and make an appointment today.