Inaction and the cost to your dreams
Do you sit dreaming of a different life but feel unable to obtain it?
Do you think that a dream will be always be a dream because of current circumstances?
That you aren’t the sort of person who gets what they want, so why bother?
These kinds of thoughts are really common and from time to time we all have them. When you start having these thought most days and for long periods of time, then that can start to really affect the view you hold of yourself, those around you and your world view.
If you regularly think that, for instance, your life just won’t ever get better, that you won’t land your dream job or that you’ll never find a good job or the right partner then these thoughts start to become a reality. They are limiting thoughts and what we might refer to a black and white thinking- where there is no room for the greys in life or indeed colour, making what you believe quite fatalistic.
Whilst not moving forward is linked to procrastination it is also a causal factor of things never changing. ‘What you allow, will continue’ is a phrase well-used in my therapy room and it often gives my clients pause for thought. If nothing changes then everything will stay the same. This mentality is bound up in us having a comfort zone, a level of what we think we deserve each and every day, and in not realising that deciding we don’t have choices is actually a choice in itself.
For example: ‘I can’t get the job I want because I’ll need to study, get a qualification and then find experience, so in the long run it will just take too long, so I’ll stay where I am.’
‘I can’t’ is a limiting thought.
‘I’ll need to study, get a qualification and then find experience’ is the evidence you will use to talk yourself out of trying; your excuse to not try.
‘I’ll stay where I am’ is a choice, leaving you no room for movement.
If we change the language look what happens:
‘I could get the job I wanted if I studied and got a qualification.’ This offers hope and the beginnings of a plan of how to get where you need to be.
‘I will need to find experience’ expands your plan and adds further direction.
‘It will take 3 years and I can move on from where I am.’ This states the time-frame, takes the mystery out of it, makes it manageable and gives you a choice that lets you move towards your dream.
Our usage of language is very powerful; in the same way that what we say affects other people, it affects ourselves too on a daily basis.
Make a deliberate choice today to think about how you talk to yourself, look for limiting language and what choices you state to yourself; are they limiting or do they give you hope and direction?
Consider if you are missing out on your dreams due to inaction and the way you talk to yourself. If you find your tone is negative as opposed to positive, then try changing the language and generally having a nicer chat with yourself. Most importantly, keep practising in order to allow change to take place. Action will lead to dreams becoming a reality.