What’s it all about?
What can a counsellor do for you?
Or perhaps a better question may be: What does counselling-help look like?
There’s still a fear about counselling and therapy in general and I want to help you understand what it’s all about to lift the fog on the subject.
What it’s not:
- There’s no couch or chaise long,
- We won’t talk about your relationship with your mother/ father unless you want to or feel it’s relevant,
- It won’t last for years unless you want it to,
- It’s not me telling you what to do week in, week out,
- It’s not advice,
- It’s not the same support as what friends and family may be providing you- it’s a very different kind of conversation,
- It’s not me thinking I’m an expert on you or that I know how to live your life for you, and
- It’s not ready-made judgement in a can waiting for you to unleash it.
What is it then?
- A place where you need to be ready to be genuinely you,
- A place for refreshing honesty where you can say whatever you want to say without repercussions in the outside world- e.g., if you have ‘bad’ things to say about those you love, they won’t know you said them,
- A place where you’ll have your thoughts said out-loud for the first time- the only person judging them will be you,
- It’s collaboration- whatever you want to work on I’ll be there with you,
- Semi structured conversations where I’ll always bring the conversation back to you- if you struggle focusing on just you, then this can be challenging,
- A place for growth, facing challenges, decision- making and direction taking,
- A place for change,
- A place for recovery, for as long as you decide you want it, and it’s
- A safe place for you.
All this is on offer to you- What do you need to do?
You need to show up! Consistency will get you through everything, but the input needs to be consistently well-intentioned and focussed on benefitting you and on positive change. If you don’t show up then I can’t support you.
You’ll need to work at it, each time and between sessions. Positive change just doesn’t ‘happen’ without putting energy into it. Some sessions will bring extraordinary clarity, others will bring confusion, sadness and tears and some may not affect you at all immediately then catch up with you later. It’s an ongoing process and you need to be prepared to work on accepting it and engage with it in order to better understand you.
You’ll need to keep to boundaries within the contract- it can be an intense process but it’s a professional process and a professional relationship so you’ll need to sign a contract and honour the terms of the contract in order to get the best out of therapy.
You’ll need to keep at it even when it feels hard, challenging and unsettling. I can’t stress consistency enough; the more you engage in and outside of the sessions with the work that we do then the more positive change will happen. If you consistently don’t do the work, don’t have discussions, miss appointments then the again, I can’t help you if you aren’t committed to your own cause.
If you think you can do the above and wish to explore your own issues, problems, thoughts, fears or struggles then click contact to start making a change today.
You can do this and you can feel better; I can help you if you are prepared to help yourself.